Author's Notes: This is an old story that I found a week or so ago. I've read through it, fixed some things, and here it is. Summary: An encounter at the end of the world... Disclaimers: They don't belong to me, and no copyright infringement is intended. Dedicated to the wonderful Araxdelan, who gave me a home and helps me write. Rated NC-17 for graphic m/m interaction. Phoenix Rising I can finally see you clearly. The fine red haze of hatred has died, and all that stands between us now is the air, which is thick with smoke and the smell of burnt flesh. Lightning flashes, and thunder rumbles across the sky. Your face is thin, streaked with blood and ashes, but for all of that, the emerald fire of your eyes leaps out at me. Lips twisted slightly upwards, green eyes glittering with a fierce pride, you are the picture of a post-apocalyptic warrior. Your hand is bloody, but you don't seem to notice. You are the only remaining connection to my former world. Everyone else I once knew has long since passed away, either in battle, or from the starvation caused by the massive destruction of earth's resources. I am not very far from death myself. My ribs show, and my wrist-bones jut out like spars. Adrenalin and stubborness have kept me going, but I can feel the faltering weakness of my body, the slow fluttering of a heart forced to work for too long on too little, and the ache in muscles that cry out for nourishment. You, too, are thin, but your leaness has made you more deadly, more versatile. There is nothing left of the smooth-faced green agent I once tolerated, nor are there any remnants of the sneaking traitor I once despised. I am not surprised to see you, here, at the end of the world. Somehow, I always knew that you'd be the last one standing. But I never expected to be standing here with you. Through all of the fighting, you've managed to hold on to your leather jacket, and its familiar appearance is both a reminder of what I have lost, and hope for what I might still keep. All around us, the shattered ashes of earth swirl in the hot, tepid breeze. The wind ruffles my hair, and blows yours back from your eyes. How long have we been standing here, looking at each other? Too long - and somehow, not long enough. I feel as though I'm drowning in your eyes, in a sea of emerald green, infinite and cold, deadly and shadowed. I could sink into your eyes forever. It might be safer than living in this endless wasteland of destruction. You open your mouth to speak, the first words I will have heard since the final screams of the dying in the last battle. "Mulder," you say, and I shiver, both at the sound of your voice and of my name. I had almost forgotten both. Your voice, like silk over shards of glass, hoarse from shouts of triumph and screaming desperate orders at the last of the human forces in that final battle, speaks again. "Mulder." You put your hand on my shoulder, and a shudder of electricity and confusion runs through me, pooling hot and heavy in my groin. "Are you hurt?" you ask. No, Alex, no. I'm not hurt. Another lifetime ago, before the colonization battles began in earnest, I would have flung your hand from my shoulder and slammed my fist into that perfect mouth. But now - now, I mutely shake my head, never looking away from you for an instant. I'm afraid you'll disappear. A faint glimmer of concern stirs in your ice-cold eyes, and your brows draw together, the crease between them emphasizing your uncertainty. That line... it used to seem too old for your slickly innocent face. Not any more. Life has not been easy for either of us, and not for the first time, I wonder what terrors scar your soul, what sights are burned into your mind, what crimes you have commited for which you can never forgive yourself - for which I can never forgive you. But I have perpetrated horrors too. All of us have, all of the survivors and most of the dead, atrocities commited for the survival of humanity. The only ones I know of who were spared the guilt and self-loathing are those who perished before the fighting truly began. "Do you feel guilty, Krycek?" "No," you say, but I think you are lying. I can never know for sure, though - you have lied to me more times than I can count. You sigh, and the remembered betrayals dissapate, vanish, because now I can understand the reasons for each lie, each traitorous act. And though forgiveness burns in my throat like bile, I know I have no choice but to give it to you, not if I want to be able to live with myself afterwards. I open my mouth to tell you that none of it matters anymore, to tell you that there is no longer anything to forgive, but you lean forward and close my mouth with yours, and then your arm is around me, and mine circle you, holding you tight against me. I want to crawl inside of you, to wear you like a second skin, and it feels so right that I don't understand why I never felt like this before. "Are you sure," and your voice is uneven, "that you want this?" *Do* I want this? I don't truly know what I want, don't even know who I am any longer. But my lips and body are aching for your touch, so I nod, slowly. Your movements are tempest-swift, hard and efficient. Your arm is around my waist, pulling me towards you before I can blink, and your mouth is on mine with a savagery of desire that takes my breath away. I can taste the blood on your lips, a hot, coppery tang, and then you suck my lower lip inside your mouth, biting gently down upon it, and I think I am going to come from just this. I run one hand through your short dark hair, caressing the back of your neck, while my other hand cups your ass, grinding our hips together. I can feel you hard against me, and the sensation pulls a growl from my throat. I kiss my way down the long elegant column of your neck, ignoring the dirt, ashes, and blood that streak your skin, tasting only *you.* It is a fierce taste, like that of your mouth diluted, all of the fire in your soul burning me through your skin, transcending the purely physical. I pull your jacket off your left shoulder, and moving your hand momentarily, drop it to the scorched ground. I am not wearing a jacket, and when you pull at my t-shirt, I let you slide it off over my head. I drop both my hands to the waistband of your jeans, then slide them up under your thin black shirt, along the muscles of your stomach, fingers flickering over your peaked nipples, over your shoulders, pull off your shirt, and hold you against me, skin against skin. It begins to rain, great huge drops, slicking our skin, soaking our hair. And then you are on your knees before me, fingers struggling with the buttons of my jeans, sliding them down over my hips, and then you take me into your mouth. The heat of it is almost unbearably good compared to the chill of the rainwater, now a virtual torrent. I can't begin to describe what you're doing to me, but my vision is blurred with desire, and when I finally come, your name is on my lips. I drop to my knees, aligning our mouths once more, tangling my fingers through your hair and pressing you down upon the muddy ground. Your jeans are wet from the rain, and I fight with the buttons for a maddening instant before I pull them down over your hips. Your cock is leaking already, and I run tongue over the head, tasting you. I lap gently at the tiny slit, then relax my throat muscles and swallow as much of you as I can, teasing your sensitive cock with my tongue, and with gentle scrapes of my teeth. You seem to like that - you thrust upwards, and I reach down, roll your balls in my hand before stroking your perineum gently with one finger. You come soon after, screaming something that the rain whips away from me, and I swallow your seed as fast as I can. When you can move again, you sit up and pull my mouth to yours again, briefly. "Come on, Fox," you tell me. "Get your clothes together, and let's go home." ~Finis~ "Listen as the wind blows From across the great divide. Voices trapped in yearning; Memories trapped in time. The night is my companion, And solitude my guide. Would I spend forever here And not be satisfied? And I would be the one To hold you down, Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away. And after, I'll wipe away your tears - Just close your eyes, dear... Through this world I've stumbled, So many times betrayed. Trying to find an honest word, To find the truth enslaved. Oh, you speak to me in riddles And you speak to me in rhymes. My body aches to breathe your breath - Your words keep me alive. And I would be the one To hold you down, Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away. And after, I'll wipe away your tears - Just close your eyes, dear... Into this night I wander - It's morning that I dread. Another day of knowing, Of the path I fear to tread. Oh, into the sea of waking dreams I follow without pride. 'Cause nothing stands between us here, And I won't be denied. And I would be the one To hold you down, Kiss you so hard I'll take your breath away. And after, I'll wipe away your tears - Just close your eyes, dear..." -Sarah McLachlan, "Possession"