Raietta Reply-To: mk_waffers@yahoogroups.com To: mk_waffers@yahoogroups.com Subject: Re: [waffers] Memorial (finale spoilers) Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2001 11:47:26 -0700 (PDT) Hi! I'm back from my trip! And what do I find upon my return, but the most horrible, awful, no good, very bad rumors in Christendom. For pete's sake. This is awful. I remember reading an interview where CC referred to (hinted at?) Krycek (and Covarrubias) being the hip, young, pretty-looking new generation of the Consortium. The wave of the future!! And now this. The final insult. But, what the hell. CC's a liar and a tease. Prick. > > > > > > > > > > > > L > > > > > > E > > > > > > T > > > > > > _ > > > > > > U > > > > > > S > > > > > > _ > > > > > > A > > > > > > L > > > > > > L > > > > > > _ > > > > > > S > > > > > > H > > > > > > E > > > > > > D > > > > > > _ > > > > > > T > > > > > > E > > > > > > A > > > > > > R > > > > > > S > > > > > > - > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Damn straight. We need to start a > CC sucks fan club. Hee hee! I love the phrase, 'Damn straight'. You've just made my day, Alex. > > > > > >i concour. but i'll need to find my curse > potion first. > > > > Heh, we can have virtual curses. And a > sort of zen-ish area where > you > > can throw your grievences to the wind. Nice. I like this idea. > Get > all your anger at CC out, > rather > > than bottling it all in. Like the suck list. > It's this list where you > write > > down what you think sucks, and it all gets > added to this huge list. It's a > > way of cleansing your anger, and then you can > go and read what everyone > else > > thinks sucks too... Hmm. Interesting. Is this online or a 'real world' item? > where's the list? i need a good scream. Ha! Poor Aris... Maybe you should shut yourself up in a nice, well-insulated room and just let it all out. Scream, kick the walls, jump up and down... It might be cathartic. > though it probably won't do much for my anger - > i got so distressed i'm now > drinking Coke-light. > tells me a lot about 'bitterness'... Oh! The horror! It's like drinking Pepsi One! Ack! Well, clearly, CC the Malign needs a swift kick in the ass. He's made Alex upset and has driven Aris to drinking Diet Coke. There is only one solution. Isn't that right, Krycek? Krycek just looks moodily at me in the wings, huddled under a thermal blanket and nursing his fifteenth beer. He's been a little on edge ever since he got the news that his days are numbered. Ahem. Let me try again. Krycek! Don't you think it's about time to pay Chris Carter a little visit? It's against the Unwritten Rules to kill off your fictives with such abandon. Really, he's abusing his power. Killing characters right and left. First the Brit, then the CSM, and now this. Not to mention Pendrell, Mr. X, Deep Throat, Agent Spender, and more. And more... And more... So, how 'bout it, Rat Boy? Feeling like, to paraphrase the inimitable Adam Warren, serving up a piping-hot deep-dish super-sized helping of Whupass? "No," Krycek says sulkily, looking down at his Heineken. "I just wanna sit here and drown in my own sorrow." Well. That's not like you at all, Krycek. That's more along the moodiness of Mulder, actually. "Hmph." You've been hanging out with Mulder waaay too much, Krycek, if you're going to start sulking like him. "Hey!" Mulder exclaims, popping up in my field of vision. He looks highly offended. "I don't sulk *that* much!" Yes, you do. "No I don't!" Yes, you do! "No I *don't*!" Krycek says wearily, "Will the both of you please just shut up? I'm trying to savor my last few moments of existence, here." No, you're not. You're sulking. "Yeah," Mulder says, putting his hands on his hips, "you're sulking when you should be out there, kicking ass and taking names. What the hell is wrong with you?" Krycek just shrugs and sighs and pops the tab of a Fosters. Mulder looks at me, helplessly. Hmmm. I feel an M/K moment coming up. My hands are tingling. "Please." Mulder turns soulful, shimmering hazel eyes to me, the unshed tears making him look more vulnerable and adorable than ever. Oh, shit. "Please, help save my lover." Who, me? How???? "Help save my darling Ratboy from the evil clutches of CC, from the deep abyss of Character Death. If Krycek gets snuffed, what will happen to the X-Files slash world? What will happen to the realm of the M/K story, the romance, the adventure, the rape fics, the angst? The vivid descriptions of Krycek's smoky green eyes? The lush depictions of his sumptuous mouth, his sinuous body, and not to mention the steamy sex scenes between him and me?" Well, I-- "Please!" Mulder cries, his face vulnerable and agonized. "Think of the writers! Think of the Yahoo! list groups! Think of A.S.S.!!!" This is entirely too much angst for one small fic writer to handle. We need the big guns. Krycek just knocks back another beer. KABOOM!!! Araxdelan the Slasher and Aris the Poetess step out from the shadows, to the sound of wild applause. Krycek blinks, and his face shines with hope, beautiful to behold. "Don't worry, Raie," Rax says with great authority, her eyes opaque, her mouth a firm line, "We'll take care of this." "Right," says Aris. "No way is Araxdelan's birthday going to be spoiled by this bit of unfortunate news." "Too late," Rax mutters, bitterly. Oh, wait! That's right!! We now interrupt this bizarre online angst-fest to wish Araxdelan a very, very happy birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Krycek and Mulder both leap up and shower Rax with kisses, and she giggles happily. Aris and I stand by ands grin like idiots (no offense, Aris). Okay. Now back to our regularly scheduled mayhem. "Nobody wipes out my Ratboy and gets away with it!" Rax howls, stamping her foot. "CC won't know what hit him!" Aris agrees, her eyes snapping dangerously. "I'm a lawyer! I eat men like CC for breakfast!" You go, girls! I pump my fist in the air and cheer. "Now all we have to do is round up Ursula, Sarah C, Broken Angel, Abbie, Eider, Janus, and Lissa, and then we make hell for leather to LA!" Rax exclaims. "Not to mention," Aris says, "all the other fanfic writers. Sleeps With Coyotes, Megaera, Viridian 5, Jane Symons, Kindli, Basingstoke..." "Nonie Rider... Phyre... A. Leigh-Anne Childe..." "Mocomab... Te... Twilight... Amirin... Sylvia..." "Torch... Aries... Dr. Ruthless... Krychick..." "Imp... Rattadder... JiM... Imajiru..." "Cody Nelson... Sugar Rush... Debchan... Frankie..." "Jesica Harris... Louise Wu..." "S. Senza... Fleur..." "Amy B... Brenda Antrim... Aqualegia..." "Fan4Richie... Aristide..." "Okay, I think we've got the picture," Mulder says, putting up his hands in the classic Time Out gesture. "MJ Lee... Loren Q... Czeri..." Rax continues dreamily. Yo! Rax! Wake up! Araxdelan blinks, the grins sheepishly. "Sorry, got caught up in the moment." Okay! We can't lose! Rax and Aris smile and whip out from behind their backs two very powerful-looking semi-automatic guns, and pull extra ammo magazines from their pockets. "We have hand grenades and Uzis in the car," Aris says mildly. Krycek suddenly starts dancing with Mulder around the room. "I have a very positive feeling about this!" Krycek sings, his eyes green orbs of glee. "Hoo, boy!" Mulder shouts, flowing into a tango and dipping Krycek almost to the floor. "My boyfriend's BACK!" "And you're gonna be in trouble," Rax smirks. "We also have flame throwers," Aris adds demurely. "Then what are we waiting for!" Krycek cries, a beautific smile on his face. "Let's go rock CC's little Fictional Character-Killing world!" Abd off we go! Rax tosses me a .36 revolver and a high-powered rifle, and Aris hands me a knife. Mulder looks like he's on a mission from God. Krycek is in full Consortium Assassin mode. It's gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight! Yeehaw! THE END P.S. Rax, I have an e-mail on its way for you, but i have grandparents visiting me and all my time is... blah blah blah, excuses excuses... I'll have it sent soon. P.P.S. Aris, i have one for you, too. I got your e-mails, AND your Real Mail, and am devouring the books. THANK YOU!!!!! I love it! More on that soon... --Jess